Opinion: I will support as many 'Pariahs' as I can
Editor's note: R. Ashley Jackson is an LGBT community advocate with the Southern Poverty Law Center. She is the former coordinator of the Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition, an organization that advocates on behalf of lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgender students in Mississippi. "Pariah," a feature length film by director Dee Rees, opens in more cities January 13.
By R. Ashley Jackson, Special to CNN
For months I’ve been hearing the buzz surrounding "Pariah," the film directed by Spike Lee’s protégé Dee Rees, about a teen-aged, black lesbian learning to love and accept herself in a home where her sexuality makes her an outcast. I have been especially excited to see the movie because like Alike, played by Adepero Oduye, the 17-year-old protagonist in the story, I am a young, black woman who has struggled with acceptance and rejection in my life.
As I watched "Pariah," I laughed and cried right along with Alike. I felt her pain and loneliness as her mother, played by Kim Wayans, ignored her feelings and her thoughts and tried to do things like choose the young woman’s friends and clothing. They were desperate attempts to steer Alike from a "gay lifestyle."
In the film Alike’s rejecting experiences - from her family and from her community - help to make her stronger, and shape her vision for her future. That is exactly what happened to me.
The night of December 24, 2005 changed my life forever. It was my 22nd birthday. The evening began with dinner and dancing with 15 close friends. I was the life of the party, full of jokes and laughter. You would think I was having the time of my life, but actually I was feeling quite alone, lost and sad. It’s because I was living a lie. I was secretly in a relationship with a woman for the first time in my life and I didn’t think I could tell anyone – not any of my 15 friends in attendance and especially not my mother, a non-denominational minister. I knew she didn’t approve of homosexuality.
Before I’d entered that inaugural relationship I had started drinking, mostly entire bottles of cheap wine and more than a few shots of whatever was offered to wash it down. It was all about trying to suppress the feelings I had for women. The alcohol made it easier to date men and pretend to be happy. But there weren't enough drinks to fill the emptiness I felt.
That night, after having an argument with my girlfriend, despite being too drunk to drive, I tried anyway. Not wearing a seat belt and speeding up I-55 in Jackson, Mississippi, I passed out and fell into the passenger seat. When my head hit the cloth, I realized what was happening, and said to myself, "Ashley, get up, you are driving." At that moment I used my left hand for leverage to sit upright, yanking the car to the left across four lanes and smashing into a concrete barrier. It was close to 4 a.m. I was alone, bloody and injured. To this day, I don’t know how long I was there or who found me. Flashing in and out of consciousness, I remember thinking the ambulance engine sounded like a school bus.
The hours and days after are a blur of doctors, pain, shame, confusion and fear. Instead of opening presents and blowing out candles, I was having surgery to correct the broken bones in my foot and ankle while trying to take in the fact that I may walk with a limp for the rest of my life. I ended up with a concussion and short-term memory damage that prompted me to write down everything so I wouldn’t forget conversations I’d had 10 minutes ago. I had bruises, scars and stitches from head to toe. My face was blackened and full of stitches. Unable to care for or bathe myself meant I had to move out of my apartment and once again begin living with my mother.
The worst part of all of this is that I did it to myself. Fear of rejection and not having anyone to talk to led me to destructive behavior. I felt alone and isolated. I didn’t belong in the heterosexual world and didn’t believe I belonged in the homosexual world either. Going through the motions - acting as everyone around me expected - was the only way I could keep myself going every day.
Lying in that hospital gave me time to think, time to let all of those suppressed feelings and emotions take over. I remember thinking, "I am gay. I am a lesbian." A huge weight lifted off of me, and I cried. I let it all out.
In the months after, unable to get from room to room on my own, I spent my days and nights on the Internet searching for a community. I found it! I was amazed to discover people in Jackson, Mississippi, who would accept me for me. I found my friends, my "urban family," where I didn’t have to hide and pretend. And I was able to kick the alcohol I had been leaning on.
Soon after I found the reason I was given a second chance.
One year after my car accident, a friend came to me and asked if she could bring her 12-year-old nephew to my house. He had confided in her that he was gay and afraid his father would disown him if he found out. My friend wanted him to meet an out-of-the-closet gay person living openly in Mississippi. When they arrived at my home, he was timid and very quiet. After I coaxed him into helping me chop veggies for our falafel and pita dinner, he opened up. We chatted away about his friends, music and movies. We talked about his school and his family. Seeing his face light up when he was given the opportunity to tell me about his life and dreams was one of the most amazing experiences I’ve had.
That very night, I sat on my on my sofa and decided I had to do something for the LGBT youth feeling alone and afraid. I had to speak up for the ones who had no one to talk to, no one allowing them to be themselves, the ones with no support system. These are the youth represented by Alike in the film, "Pariah." She’s a smart young woman with good grades, a talented writer and big dreams. She’s like so many dreamers I meet, growing up in a world where they’re told they’re defective or not good enough.
I began my mission by attending community meetings. It evolved to helping with a local LGBT support group. I eventually became a founding member of the Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition, an enormously successful LGBT youth-led organization in the state of Mississippi. Even though we were discouraged and told that a group advocating on behalf of gay and transgender kids would never work in Mississippi, we stood strong and worked hard.
To me, Alike represents the young people I come in contact with everyday: the boy being abused by his father because he’s not man enough, the boy being bullied so much by students and teachers he dropped out of school at 13, the girl who tried to take her own life because her mother wouldn’t acknowledge her and forced her from home.
I was so happy to see at least one adult in Alike’s life who she felt at ease around and who wasn’t trying to change her. It was her English teacher Mrs. Alverado , played by Zabryna Guevara. They didn’t discuss dating or relationships. It wasn’t necessary. When Alike walked into that classroom, her face lit up. She wasn’t guarded or sad. She had a safe space and someone to listen to her. That’s so important. All young people coming out deserve this: a safe, accepting adult.
Many of the youth I’ve worked with don’t have a safe space, especially not at home. I know I can’t give these young adults new homes but I can help them stay strong, become leaders and help each other.
Everyone should see "Pariah," especially parents and adults working with youth. We have a duty to prepare, nurture and encourage them. It is up to us to make sure they are well adjusted and ready to take charge of their future. That will never happen if we are discouraging creativity and individualism.
I tried to run away from my feelings and ended up being stopped in my tracks, literally, by a 10-foot concrete barrier in the middle of a dark, empty Mississippi highway. I’ve been given a second chance to do something and that something will be to support, comfort, inspire, and energize the lives of as many of the Alike’s of the world as I can.
The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of R. Ashley Jackson.
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gay is not a ndisease it is a abomination and that worse than a disease.
What ever happened to "what happens behind closed doors"... I'd prefer we quit with all this about the bedroom behaviours of Americans as newsworthy! I don't care and don't want to know about who is doing what with whom. LGBT whiners Straight whiners... all a bunch of whiners... to that i say go F and get it over with.... then shut up about it!
here here. the lbgt's though I believe need access to the same rights as straights when it comes to partner benifits. But other than that I wish everyone would just shut up and f already, no SANE person give a flying rat's *** who you're bedding unless you're in a relationship with them.
To moderator: you didn't like my comment about being judged?
It is one thing to do wrong.people are human.but to make a movment to celebrate and legitamize and flaunt your wrongs is unfogivable.
God is not your personal santa claus teddy bear or comfort blanky.He does not serve to rubber stamp whatever your desires are,or your particular warped ideology.we exist to live according to His wishes.All of the "he loves everything that anybody does" is just popular cultures cover to abrogate and dispose of personal responsability.Indeed God judges everyone of us personally just as every parent is responsible for correcting his children and guiding them.the fact that we have free will is not license to choose whatever we want as one commenter here postulates, but rather a responsibility to choose correctly.
So, waka–does God look down and say to lesbians "you have offended me...I ordered woman to love man...I ordered this so that woman would come to be happy about football as man is happy." I wish some religious person could just explain, logically, why God would care whether woman is with man or woman. (And please include football in the explanation.)
You are obviously not reading your bible. Jesus said love god first, then love your neighbor as yourself. Acting hateful towards another person is NOT loving them. He also said judge not. How dare you put yourself on par with God and try to judge anyone. If you don't like it fine. No one is forcing you to read this article. No one is forcing you to be gay. Sit down and shut up. America is tired of bigoted hateful 'Christians' such as yourself.
@LaLa i will judge and i judge you are stupid
Logic is blinded by personal desires lusts and feelings
To all the hateful people–just let people be who they are. Mind your own business. And to those quoting religion to fuel hateful opinions–let me tell you something: God is not a giant pain in the ass. He doesn't sit around judging people all day. He doesn't sit around saying "oh no! That woman has a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend! I am so appalled! I am kicking her out of the gates of Heaven!" He didn't write the Bible. The Bible was written starting about 100 years after Jesus died and was written by a bunch of self-important idiots who probably knew little about Jesus and certainly had no insight into the mind of God. The Bible says "Judge not lest ye be judged." So let people live, don't try to make them hate themselves, don't judge people!
How come you never see any pieces about straight people? Always about gays. What happened where gays became worshiped in America? Why not write a flip side, or even a non biased story for once CNN? People make fun of Fox for being biased, but all other news sites are also biased. When will the lefty hypocrisy stop?
Yes. Right. All the stories on CNN are about gay people. If the 2% of stories on CNN that involve gay people stand out so much to you, maybe you should ask your self why.
Numbnuts you see them thousands of times a day. Most news stories are about straight people so get a life and learn something for gods sake. Sitting in your mom's basement listening to bigoted rants from the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) is just no way to live. Find yourself a REAL boyfriend or girlfriend not the imaginary one you have stuffed and deflated in the closet..
@sandy how do you know his nuts are numb?
...are you trolling? There are straight people everywhere. You specifically hear about gay people because they are the minority. If there's a movie about white straight lovers, I highly doubt you will hear it discussed with that label because it's pretty much the cultural assumption.
And there are many movies with white straight people is my point (bad wording there).
I believe you are right, being gay is not a choice. It is nature's way of trying to remove your defective DNA from the gene pool. I makes perfect sense, any good system has a method of removing faults. Seeing how we have been around for many millenia, humanity must have a pretty efficient system for removing flaws. I also think that this response has a secondary effect of having those with flawed DNA to be more suicidal.
Beefburger, apparently nature over saw your DNA fault. How comes you are still alive?
In addition to being ignorant and cruel, your theory is patently incorrect. There have always been gay people, and research indicates that they have remained at about the same percentage of the population throughout history. If your theory were even remotely feasible, there would be no gay people, or at least their numbers would have drastically declined over time. Maybe you should ask yourself how many of your other beliefs are complete b.s. It's impossible to be a healthy and productive human being with a skewed perception of reality.
Yes, God is trying to save the planet, so He is making Gay people so that they can take care of all the irresponsible straight people's children and only have children intentionally instead of "accidentally" and irresponsibly like all the straight people do–who are breed more like animals and seem to have no control over themselves.
Yes, God IS trying to eliminate defective DNA,... YOURS!
So if I follow your thoughts, God is eliminating the DNA of the parents of gay children. Am I correct in that assumption? It wouldn't be the gay person God is after but their parents! I get it now – that makes absolutely no sense!
@Beefburger is being a child molester a choice from what clinical psychologist say they cant be rehabilitated so should we make it alright to rape little kids since it is not a choice?
On one hand, I am glad our country is slowly learning to not persecute LGBTers. It is an injustice and a stupid waste of time.
On the other hand, I do not want to know anything about their lifestyle, nor should I be expected to "celebrate" it. I think their lifestyle is self destructive and I find their predilections disgusting. I think the LGBT community would do well to confine their efforts to ned discrimination. Trying to force mainstream cultural acceptance of a dysfunctional lifestyle is a bridge too far.
You are exactly right. I have no problem making sure they are not facing discrimination because of thter oreintation. I have a MAJOR problem having them in my face all the time. Knock off the flaboyant parades, keep your behavior to yourselves and start acting like NORMAL human beings and you will be treated as NORMAl human beings, not some freaks.
Silly f aggot d icks are for chicks.
Along with your incorrect views, you're have incorrect spaces as well. Figures.
Good evening all:
I am stright, married, an educator and the mother of three children. I saw the movie Pariah last night is Seattle Wa, and thought it was the most brilliant movie produced in a long time. I laughed, cried and went home last night reminded that it is my duty to make all children feel loved, respected and valued. Thank you
I am glad there are people with problems helping others- that is the whole point I see out of this story. Not to judge, not to damn, but to listen. Everyone on this panel seems stuck in the ice ages, and not able to see humans as the versatile, individual, unique PERSON that they are. Times change- roll with it, or be stuck in a destructive frame of mind.
Dear Bible Bangers and the like–go have an affair with your minister or the husband of that woman in your church choir and leave gay folk alone. That is, after all, YOUR well-earned cultural stereotype. Enough of you seem to live up to your reputations as "pious" home wreckers, after all. So move on, nothing to see here...get on with your own dirty little secrets and let people live their lives as they see fit.
Amen!
Well said!
SO VERY WELL SAID !!
Dear Devil Worshippers go sacrifice one of your kind
For all the very knowledgeable religious people posting today, can I ask a quick question? When God ordered woman to love man and marry him so as not to "sin", did God realize how much extra laundry that would give woman?
LOL
Lilith did. She was the true first woman and decided not to sleep with adam even though he was the only man on earth. She was kicked outta the garden of eden. Eventually she had children with cain, the first murderer. Ironically most christians don't know this story, which is why I can't respect them. A Jew would know, as would a Morman. I'm an aetheist but I can respect anyone who learns, researches, and practice their religion.
So, someone who doesn't believe in fairy tales is quibbling over which version of a fairy tale is worthy of respect.
Well, if the story is not in the Bible, I wouldn't think that a Christian would be required to believe it.
why won't my comment post
This one did. Try again.
This is a wonderful and inspiring article. I'm so glad Ms. Jackson lived to help other LGBT youth. They need all the love, acceptance and support we can give as they must face, every day, the most unwarranted cruelty and prejudice. Sadly, many of the prior posts illustrate this point rather forcibly. I put it to you though, that those writing the posts of hate and non-acceptance are coming from a base fear. As awful and mean as their words are, they need compassion and help with their fears, not return fire.
OK.
You chose to be gay. No sympathy from me.
You are a dumb-ass.Probably don't believe in evolution either as you are a shining example...
I do *not* believe people choose to be gay or straight. However, I also do not believe in evolution. Are you going to judge me as well ?
You're probably right, but try not to bring evolution into it. We've already got one crapstorm of angry fundamentalists going on; we don't need more.
i didnt come from a frog B Y T C H
And you chose to be a m0r0n. No sympathy from me.
You choose to hate. Which is worse?
Your ignorance is no more a choice than the author's preferences, but your bigotry IS a choice for which I have no sympathy.
Did you choose to be straight? If so, you're probably gay.
The American Psychological Association states that people do not choose their s e xual orientation.
they lied
Yes, they definitely chose the biochemical conditions they lived in in the womb and the slight contribution they got from their genetics. I'm so glad I chose to almost be born very premature and have type 1 diabetes.
WHy would someone CHOOSE to be discriminated against? I don't understand how you think that's logical.
Glad you didn't kill anyone when you threw your little drunken pity party.
Exactly. And who paid for her $$$ hospital stay? Either insurance ratepayers or taxpayers or both. I don't care how unfair life is, it's no excuse to be a drunk driver!
Exactly what I was thinking! I have no problem with her being a lesbian - but I do have a big problem with her being a drunk driver.
Shiarra, just because you are yelling at the top of your lungs doesn't make you right. maybe not look like an ignorant fool by learning to use lowercase
These days anyone that is not the norm. feels it is time to step out and tell a story. Meet Ron, he felt alone, till one day he met Sally the sheep, now Ron would like to tell you his story......... Betty thought that her having 12 toes and a tail was odd and she felt ashamed, today she would like to tell you her story......
And ... is there really a norm?
Yes, What the Word needs now is shame and stigma, ostracism, fear and in-tol-erance!
@Mrs Fizzy what the world needs right now is for you to stick your finger in your B U T T and twirl on it.
@Mrs Fizzy what the world needs right now is for you to stick your finger in your B U T T and twirl on it real fast.
Beautifully written, brutally honest. Will open the minds and hearts of those who actually have them.
Randy, I am curious why you are so trseifaxnd with the salaries of these people. They are not elected officials nor are they paid with tax dollars. It is private enterprise so if they want to overpay their executives, let them. That is the beauty of capitalism. The ones who should be concerned are the ones to whom they owe money, they have that right to vent.
Wow, gotta love the hate. Posts like these remind me why it is I don't go to church. I suspect the truth is that we're all wrong about what comes "after" (if anything). I think that living a life shackled in the chains of a religion that is probably bunk to be a fitting punishment for having such narrow minds, but it's a real shame you have to hurt other people who will never touch your lives in the process.
Obviously you prefer the moral landslide that is going on. Obviously you hate anyone who take a higher road that you do. Bottom feed much?
Butterfinger,
Those who choose to demean others because they are different are not taking the higher road. I pray that one day God will grant you some intellect and common sense. I suspect my prayers will never be answered though.
Are you sure you have a good basis for moral superiority? There are a million ways to take "the higher road," and not all of them depend on a particular branch of a particular religion.
man gay people are some of the most self-righeous and selfish people I have ever met. you can get it through those thick skulls that yes there will real dissapoint by family and parents especailly if you are gay since the family tree dies with you, but that doesn mean they and others cant still love you. except your choice or maybe its biology has real negative consequences.
have you looked around recently? We don't exactly need people having more kids
Plenty of gay people have children the same way sterile h e t e r o s e x u a l couples do: In vitro and adoption. Besides, what is selfish about being with the person you love?
And some straight peoples' choice to reproduce has negative consequences too, but it don't stop 'em!
THE LEVITICUS CHPS 17-26 OF THE 6BC HOLINESS CODE WHILE IN BABYLON CONTAIN VERSES THAT SAYS "THUS SAITH THE YHVH ELOHIM TO MOSES etc", WHEN IN FACT THE YHVH ELOHIM DID NOT SAY ANYTHING TO MOSES ABOUT IT, FOR MOSES LIVED IN 16BC, A 1001yrs BEFORE THE 6BC HOLINESS CODE WHILE IN BABYLON, AND THE NEW TESTAMENT USED THE GREEK WORD "MALAKIA" =COWARD, NOT THE ON PERPOSE "EFFEMINATE", JESUS AND OTHERS USED THAT SAME WORD FOR FINE SOFT CLOTHS, THAT THE WEALTHY WEAR , EQUALIVENT THE HIGH PRICED SUITS AND CLOTHS OF MEN
Typing in all caps makes you look like a troglodyte that stole someone else's computer.
Now you've got me wanting to read the bible, and I so hate that, because i gave up religion many years ago. But I do remember that Ham did his father....but I've gotta go look it up now to see if I'm remembering that name right....was it Moses who got done? Whoever it was that got done was Beloved of God....according to the bible.
AND REMEMBER 16BC TO 6BC IS A DIFFERENCE OF 1001 YEARS OF TIME AND PLACE JUST GOOGLE: SODOMY BIBLE LEIVITICUS 6 BC, YOU'LL SEE IT WAS ADDED, "JESUS SAID DON'T ADD TO THE BOOK NOR TAKE AWAY" IN THE BOOK OF REVELATIONS, AND THE WORD "EFFEMINATE" IS AN ON PURPOSE MISTRANSLATION OF THE GREEK WORD "MALAKIA" GOOGLE AND WIKIPEDIA IT AND SEE THE HISTORY OF THIS WORD OK, IT'S NOT A SIN
boring.
Well the stupid always find gaining knoowedge boring.0 If it doesn't come with dancing cartoon figures and a sing along it is just soooo boring. Home schooled or from the South?
YOU SAY GAY NOT BAD???
FOR TRUTH , JUST GOOGLE; PAIS BIBLE JESUS, SEE HOW "JESUS" HIMSELF HANDLED THIS SITUATION ,AND FOLLOW HIS EXAMPLE ,AND THE CHPS 17 THRU 26 IN LEVITICUS WERE ADDED IN 6BC BABYLON, MOSES LIVED IN 16BC SINAI, SO HE YHVH NEVER SAID THIS TO MOSES, MAN ADDED THAT NOT GOD OK
WHAT WOULD JESUS DO? AS XTIANS ALWAYS SAY, WELL THIS IS WHAT JESUS DID, IS MARVELED AT HIS FAITH IN HIS WORD POWER, JESUS COMMENDED/ PROCLAIMED & BLESSED HIM (HEALED THE PAIS), SO SINCE EVEN "JESUS CHRIST" DID NOT CONDEMN THEM, THEN NEITHER SHOULD CHRISTIANS PERIOD, HE "JESUS " WAS GOING TO HIS HOUSE, IN THAT WAY "JESUS WAS EXERCISING HIS FREEDOMS TO ASSOCIATE/ EXPRESSION/ SPEECH AND RELIGION WITH THE "PAIS" AND CENTURION, IT'S AMAZING THAT MOST CLERGY DID NOT KNOW THIS! OR DID THEY IN SECRET?!, THE U.C.C. GIVES REMEDY FOR FRAUDULENT ACTS DONE BY "LLC-CORP.PERSONS", WILL XTIANS FOLLOW THEIR "LORD"EXAMPLE?
Don't "shout." They can't/won't hear you anyway.
Shaiarra is a babbling fool. Jesus is a old myth, like Santa Claus.
he was real....but his only real claim to fame was building one wicked ass table... i know this will come out wrong but keep your faith to yourself...no it came out right...if you really want to talk about jesus do me a favor...do some research and tell me how many so called saviors were born on dec 25 died and the suddenly came back 3 days later. all before jesus and if jesus was born on dec 25 why were the shepherds still in the mountains. they call it faith for a reason ..because they could not call it truth.
alinkedup, the Bible doesn't say anything about Dec. 25, btw. The ironic thing is I think Shiarra is trying to say there's no basis in the NT of the Bible to be anti-gay ...
i was talking about what shaddup said\
and the funny thing is that people know he was not born on dec 25 but wont say anything about it....all the did is make christian holidays fall on the same days as pagan holidays so it was easier to make them convert...... by force.
Excellent article from a self-aware and caring person. There is so much hatred, ignorance and fear spouted by people who claim to believe in a religion based on love. But then, humans have always been afraid of what they don't understand, including people who are in any way different from themselves. It is very sad to see so many in the modern world who still love and nurture their ignorance that makes them comfortable being the nasty, hateful people they are. It is nice for them that their beliefs give them an excuse. But it is not so nice for the rest of the world.
Its a damned shame the lot of you bible thumpers don't understand what it takes to accept yourself and truly love who you are, because the church starts out telling you how pathetic, worthless, and unworthy of grace that you are.....but only for the grace and love of your god did he give his only son.....that would have loved and DOES LOVE ASHLEY no matter WHAT or WHO she loves. HOW you spit in the face of your god by rejecting his own creation! This beautiful woman has survived so much. She's started the biggest movement of LGBTQ acceptance groups in schools in mississippi TO PREVENT SUICIDES. She is incredibly intelligent, and got a government grant to start groups to work with kids so they wouldn't SLIT THEIR WRIST from hearing stuff you "Christians" have posted in comments sections. She gets up every day being who she is and knowing in her heart that some people are going to say to her face "no you can't be who you are because it makes me uncomfortable, and my sensibilities are worth more than you existing in your skin" CAN you bigots even think of how much she has been through? Can you even imagine this struggle?!?! She is using this wonderful medium to reach out to other youth and LGBQT community to rally around and support one another, and all you can think about is commenting on the fact she was drinking? WHY THE HELL WOULDN"T SHE BE! Look at yourselves and how you have JUST responded to her telling her story? LOOK AT YOU. Growing up in the south is a VERY difficult thing for anyone that deviates from the norm, ESPECIALLY with religion thrown at your face since birth and people using it to condemn god's children instead of living his example.
You christians oughta be used to forgiving and accepting someone considering your god did it for you first.
Very well put Jones... I wish more people were like you; the supposed Christians here who HATE gays could learn something from you.
Well said, Jones; well said!
"...GOD/Christ gave humans that he did not give his other creations.......FREE WILL!!!!! that means god will love you and accept you if your straight, gay, bi, or what ever you choose to be." But not in spite of whatever you choose to DO. The Bible is clear: All relations outside of marriage - marriage being defined as between 1 man and 1 woman only - are sinful. God will not accept people who choose to sin by having relations outside of marriage, nor will He accept people who want to redefine marriage to include relationships He specifically didn't choose to include. God accepted Adam and Eve until they sinned, and then He kicked them out. God accepts gays, too - until they sin, in which case He kicks them out. Gays are no different from straights in this regard. Jesus didn't die on the cross so that the people He forgives can go on sinning. If you're not going to live the way God wants you to live - and gay relationships are simply not part of God's plan, as evidenced by the fact that only 1 man + 1 woman can make a baby - then don't expect to be welcomed by Him when you finally meet Him.
I suppose you never sin and never touched a woman until the day you were married, right? Didn't think so. People don't "choose" to be gay, they are born that way. If God created them thus, why should they need to hide because of an archaic verse written thousands of years ago by some random guy? The Bible may be inspired by God, but was most definitively written by man, and people have a tendency to screw things up.
"I suppose you never sin and never touched a woman until the day you were married, right? Didn't think so." That's correct, but I at least recognize what I did was sin and don't try to whitewash it by telling people the Bible condones what I did when it clearly doesn't.
"People don't 'choose' to be gay, they are born that way. If God created them thus, why should they need to hide...." People might not choose to be gay, and the Bible doesn't condemn people for being gay, but people do choose to have relations, and the Bible condemns all relations outside of 1man+1woman marriage. So people can be as gay as they want to be without sinning - i.e., they can be 100% attracted to the same gender without sinning - but they can't have gay realations without sinning, and if they commit themselves to a lifestyle of gay relations, that's not going to get them into heaven's gates according to the Bible (anymore than a straight person's deciding it's okay for him to have relations outside of marriage and living that lifestyle to the end is getting in).
According to the Book of Samuel, David and Jonathan may have felt differently.
See, that's the problem with the "gaying up" of our culture. It's gotten to the point that you can't envision two men having a close, intimate friendship without thinking they must be gay.
If you believe the adam and eve myth then you have to admit that we are all the products of incest. When did you "choose"your orientation? Didn't choose, imagine that.
"If you believe the adam and eve myth then you have to admit that we are all the products of incest." Under that paradigm Adam and Eve's genetic code was clean enough to allow it, plus their children were so long-lived that most of them didn't grow up with one another to form sibling bonds.
"When did you 'choose' your orientation? Didn't choose, imagine that." Whether orientation is a choice doesn't even matter. I'm a hetero who is attracted to hot married women, but in spite of that natural attraction, it's wrong for me to sleep with married women (even if they and their husbands don't mind). And like you said with incest, even if I were naturally attracted to my sister, that wouldn't make incest okay. Even wholly natural inclinations can't turn a wrong behavior into a right behavior.
Very well said....and most of all the TRUTH!!! Thank you~!
In order for that to work, you would have to believe in an afterlife where you will be punished for transgressions. I don't. This is all you have. Stop being a fraidy cat and admit it, and you will truly be free.
Mike marriage defined as one man and one woman is a fairly new concept. In Biblical times polygamy was common. This whole marriage is one man and one woman is a sound bite of the evangelical movement from the last 20 years. Remember Soloman and all his wives. Just because you define it as one man one woman does not mean that any other marriage is forbidden. What do yuo think it is? The Bibile according to Mike?
"In Biblical times polygamy was common....Just because you define it as one man one woman does not mean that any other marriage is forbidden." In the Old Testament polygamy was permitted, but even then (1) all marriages were between a man and a woman only - polygamous wives were married to their husbands, not to their "sister-wives", and (2) the New Testament clearly says, "To avoid fornication, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband." (1 Cor 7:2) Likewise Jesus in Matt 19:4-5 (quoting Genesis 2): "Have you not read that in the beginning God 'made them male and female' and 'for this reason a man leaves mother and father and cleaves to his wife, and the two become one flesh?" So while the Bible might have tolerated polygamy for a time, as a concession to the Israelites' unwillingness to give it up (even as Jesus said the OT divorce laws were concession to the Israelites' unwillingness to go without divorce) the Bible did not originally and does not today condone any marriages except 1man+1woman marriages.
"I spent my days and nights on the Internet searching for a community. I found it! I was amazed to discover people in Jackson, Mississippi, who would accept me for me. I found my friends, my 'urban family,' where I didn’t have to hide and pretend." Wonderful. Once again, technology has managed to distort society by providing ways in which people who decide they are not going to conform to traditional standards of morality can find solace and support.
wow i would love to come over to your house and junk punch the stupid out of you....she is helping kids you inbred moron.... for that reason alone she deserves your respect... you must not have any kids...i have a 18 month old son and the only thing that matters to me is his happiness... gay straight bi trans...still my blood
"Junk punch the stupid out of you?!?" Best line here. Please "junk punch" the fertility out of these uneducated fools while you're at it!
"junk punch"? is that like the punch at the end of that movie "what happens in vegas"? And I'm so using that from now on!
yes thats from that movie
Yeah, the internet is great, isn't it?? 😀 Keep on hatin' Mike...
No "straight" news today CNN?
Heres a news flash
You can go 'straight' to hell
seriously,dont be a Dbag
another angry gay person posting adn cant accept that they are not normal by definition. shocking
Ashley, pu-leeeease! First of all, a 12 yr old!!!! A 12 year old???? YOu clearly are focused entirely on yourself and that pity-me-whoa-is-me thing. If you done ANY research, knowing this 12 yr old was coming over, you would have learned that the way you handled it is DAMAGING!!!! But the bigger problem I have is the drnk driving and blaming it on "no one understands me so I have to drive drunk.." HUH? where is your responsibility??? You CHOSE to drive drunk . Blame yourself. I don't care if you are gay, or whatever, fess up. Don't be such a whiner and a coward.
I'm deeply sorry that you had such a difficult childhood from parents and family who were not tolerant. But THAT is not a decent excuse for endangering yourself and other people by driving seriously drunk.
We cannot continue to use personal difficulties and societal prejudices as an excuse to self destruct and in the process, also seriously risk others.
I'm glad things are better, but YOU must accept the blame for DUI, not your family or society. Shame on you.
sanjosemike
How noble of you to pass judgment on someone whose entire article was about spilling her heart out over her struggles to finally accept herself. You're such a great person. This is totally the perfect place to shame someone.
talk about nobility when someone u love is killed by a drunk driver
Good luck with your life. I consider the fact that I still somewhat uncomfortable around gay/lesbians a shortcoming on my part...not theirs. I am working on my failings, however.
I think you're awsome and more people should be like you
I get so sick of hearing the holy rollies say that being gay is the devils work or a sin. You know in the end, IT IS YOU THAT THE DEVIL HAS HIS HANDS ON because you forget the one thing GOD/Christ gave humans that he did not give his other creations.......FREE WILL!!!!! that means god will love you and accept you if your straight, gay, bi, or what ever you choose to be. Let me make this clear that I'm not gay but I support those who are 100% becasue they are still people.
Kriss,
I think your sentiments are really admirable. Being gay isn't a matter of free will though; it isn't something a person chooses. Instead, God's free will is given to every person to accept and love our friends and neighbors for who they are, not who we wish they were.
Yes we have free will. that includes engaging in behavior that is destructive.
Like fear, hatred, and bigotry.
No doubt it's the human way to blindky hate and want to destroy that, that is different. Get used to it or go live on a mountain top. Humans won't change for anything
@Kriss greenn YOU GAY AND IT'S ASHAME ACCEPT IT.
We all live lies about ourselves. It is sad that the writer had to almost end hers to realize that. The misguided religion in the comments doesn't surprise me, but I am surprised I haven't seen more people denouncing her drunk driving and saying she got what she deserved (I don't believe that).
Inspiring story....and, of course, the tealiban are out in force, condemning others. Ghandi had it so right: "I like your Christ but I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ."
Loser
See above for Exhibit A .
Not Ghandi's biggest fan because there was about a million people in India that he would not support because they were different. They are called the Untouchables and still to this day they are seen as worthless and outsiders. Ghandi never did a hunger strike to help them. He cared about getting rights for his people not all people.
Not to be harsh or critical, because there's enough of that flying around in the world, but maybe you should fact check a little. While Gandhi did refuse to lend his support to certain movements involving the Untouchables of India during the 1920's, by the 30's he was one of THE biggest supporters for the rights of that group of people, even referring to them as the children of God.
It's still a great quote.
You absolutely hit the nail squarely on the head... Christians seem to be a hateful, bigoted and spiteful bunch, despite their Bible telling them not to be...
in Iran they execute gays, christians dont MOFO.
The human body is designed to reproduce. 2 women cant naturally reproduce There is your science lesson 4 today. satan controls there mind and hearts and that is why they are at war within themselves. they can resist satan and those feelings just like a liar,gambler, drunk,addict can be cured. they have to make the choice that they want to be free.
No. GOD loves you and wants what is best for you. Seek him out really, and he will show you and guide you. I dont hate anyone. I hope everyone feels loved and accepted.
I think Satan lives in YOUR head JJ.....and oh, by the way, being gay is NOT a disease...you have a lot to learn. So you might consider staying AWAY from religions that teach you what you spew!
Still guzzling that koolaid, huh?
I am a female who cannot reproduce period... does that mean Satan is controling my uterus? Maybe I should beg God to forgive me for being born this way? Oh wait... thats right... God made me this way....
"...does that mean Satan is controling my uterus?" First, thank you for making me laugh so loud at work that my coworkers thought I *finally* lost it. Second, God Bless You!
JJ, really, you think it's a choice? In most human societies, these people are outcasts, pariahs like the article discusses, and you think they choose that? Well, assuming you're a man, perhaps you're unhappy that what they don't choose is you. And by the way, telling them that "satan" controls their minds is a very hateful thing to say. You should be ashamed of yourself.
I'm sure you only get it together when you want to create a baby, right? No?
Im guessing JJ .....IS GAY GAY
The human body is designed for lots of things, including cogitation. Bigoted idiots cannot engage in cogitation, so the only natural conclusion is that you're controlled by the devil. GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN!
gay is not a disease but God says it is a abomination and that souds worse than a disease
I fee so sorryfor her and all others like her. If she had a close personal relationship with JESUS CHRIST then she would see that it is satan driving her to that life and she would repent and ask GOD to free her of these ungodly feelings.
Work in Michelle Bachman's clinic, do you?
The human body is designed to reproduce. 2 women cant naturally reproduce There is your science lesson 4 today. satan controls there mind and hearts and that is why they are at war within themselves. they can resist satan and those feelings just like a liar,gambler, drunk,addict can be cured. they have to make the choice that they want to be free.
Sorry. I don't think I will be taking science lessons from a buffoon who can utter the line "Satan controls there (sic) minds and hearts" with a straight face. I guess those infertile couples have a fiery surprise waiting for them, huh?
Infertile couples are not going to hell and I would never say that anyone is going to hell. GOD loves us all and I am saying he will forgive the gays of that sin if they truly want to repent and live the life that GOD has for them.
JJ, who are you to declare God's opinion?
Even most ministers can't keep it straight–the average minister's opinion (for any section of Christianity) on everything from divorce to foreigners has changed a dozen times times over the past one hundred years.
Go save your own soul, you bleached sepulchre.
Really now. A lot of people feel sorry for YOU allowing your bigotry and intolerance to cloud the central message of a religion...."judge not lest ye be judged" "the meek shall inherit the eart" "vengeance is mine so sayeth the lord". I bet you think the earth is 6,000 years old too huh "the human body was created" what do YOU know about evolution to say with any confidence what anything was created "for"!?!
I think YOU were created to show other people how NOT to be.
I'm so glad you found yourself, I never understood the fear of coming to terms with being gay until a childhood friend came out to me. I felt terrible that I never knew and he felt he had to hide from me, I'd known him for 14 years. I couldn't imagine someone telling me I wasnt allowed to love my husband. Stay strong.
All lgbt are demon possess or demon encouraged lost souls that will spend eternity in the Lake of Fire. The Lord Jesus Christ rebuke Ashley Jackson and all who call evil good and good evil. Repent in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ of this abomination and deceiving yourselves and others.
"Judge not, lest ye be judged."
people like you are really scarey....What planet did you say you were from???
Forgot to take your meds?
You should pray that you're wrong and that your lake of fire and your vengeful God do not exist. The only thing worse than burning for eternity in fantasyland is burning in eternity in fantasyland after a lifetime spent convincing yourself that you were doing the right thing by preaching your hateful lies to others!
Was that a joke? Surely you cannot actually be that ignorant!
Ah, Jesus is going to have you tortured in hell for eternity, but he loves you!
Great guy btw. I can see why you guys talk about him so much. I'd be pretty terrified if I believed a psychopath like that had dominion over my soul.
You are using your religion abusively, and for the exact opposite purpose your supposed Christ would ask of you. How saddening and ironic that you are the exact opposite of what a christian should truly be.
Wanna know something? When Jesus does come back, you'll be the first person he takes just because you're judging people because they are different than you. Bible thumpers seem to forget that when they cast stones, I've always wondered why that was.
It's got the mentality of "oooooh, there's a VERY DARK cloud in the sky......God is punishing us."
Bravo. Wonderful article! I wish more people like you were around.
I always womdered why through my life I was the one all my gay friends turned to as the first person they told that they were gay. I realize from your article that I probably made them feel safe, respected and listened to – and that is why I earned the honor of being the first person that they felt safe enough to just BE who they are.
Please go back under your rock and die. Thanks.
Hmm a little more speed and one moron less... Shame...
Not cool.
Well plz, what are you waiting for? Hop in your car and go. And encourage a like-minded friend to ride shotgun. 2 for 1.
Thanks for the wonderful article. We need more people like you.
Ive never had a problem with a person being gay. What I do have a problem with is the fact that gay people, lesbians, transgenders, etc, to this very day hide who they truly are. I think thats why you guys only have 1 state u can get married in and thats why you get limited respect. If I was gay, I dont care if someone hated me, beat me, whatever. I would never hide who I am. Only a coward would do that. Once gays come together as 1, and show your economic and political power, people will begin to respet you. There are millions of gay people in this country. Come together and your lives will be better immediately.
Actually, 6 states (including Iowa of all places) and the District of Columbia have legalized gay marriage.
Meanwhile, 36 others, that have their heads screwed on straight, define marriage as being between man and a woman. Which is as God intended. The writer made choices. None of this was forced on her. Sadly, she's corrupting others simply because they are ill. She should be looking to cure them.
Rod C. Venger, gender preference is not a choice. Why do religious people cling so desperately to that old "marriage is between one man and one woman" standard? What are you afraid of? If two people of the same gender love each other and want to be married to each other, how does that hurt you? Why are so many Christians so hateful towards this one group above all others? It shouldn't matter.
Being straight,I'm sure you couldn't imagine your employer terminating you simply for that fact. Or people vandalizing your property,merely because of who they -think- you sleep with,not that they would or should have any idea,to begin with. People threatening,or actually assaulting you because of your perceived orientation. "Hey,you're straight...I think I'm gonna punch you in the face,totally unprovoked!". If you had to deal with that,and the stress it caused,you might not necessarily be out. But I think more and more people are deciding to live their lives on their terms,and that's cool.
Yep, I had trouble with that too. But it's all good now 😉 being a lezzy is kinda awesome.
Yep, I had trouble with that too. But it's all good now 😉
Thank you for your voice.
A nice article. Well written. Good job! (and I couldn't find much irony in it. Don't worry that's a good thing.) 😀
Thanks for sharing this. I am a trans-woman who also happens to be a recovering alcoholic. Alcohol fed my loneliness as well.
So you are a man? Or what?? What does "trans woman" mean?